part 10
confronting aunt vav
At about 4pm this woman pulled up in a white station wagon. She fuelled her car, and I'd seen her in before. Her name was Deb, I was pretty sure, and she was missing her left foot. She had a metal prosthetic we could see that day, because she was wearing shorts. Her sneakers squeaked on the linoleum where the water was still drying, and I tried to break the ice between Amy and I and asked how she thought Deb lost her leg, start up a game of "Who is that?"
Amy stared at Deb for a moment before she said;
"It didn't want her to run." Okay, I thought. Never play with Amy again. Deb was a mousy little lady who had surprisingly strong looking biceps and a slight burn across her nose and cheeks. She paid with rumpled cash and had a blank, small smile on her face the whole time.
"Does she ever say anything when she comes in?" I asked. Amy shook her head and popped some of the gum she started chewing instead of smoking at work.
I got home at about seven, Vav was already there, making mac'n'cheese on the stove.
I told her about Amy, and asked what the fuck she meant. Vav dumped the mac'n'cheese right in the fucking sink.
"You wanna do this right now?" She asked, raising a brow. I looked at the food that still had a chance of being salvageable.
"No, Vav, it can wait." But she ignored me and went into her bedroom, when she came back out; she had a whole bunch of papers shoved in-between two pieces of wood, tied with string.
"Here." She said, and sat across from me, lighting up a cigarette.
There were...illustrations.
Of men and women, black and white, young and old, some children, staked to the ground. Long pegs of wood through their torsos, hips, shoulders, palms, ankles. Pinning them to the ground like butterflies on boards. A couple of the images seemed to be instructional. How to pin someone down without them bleeding out right away. I flicked through a couple more. In one of them a staked man was on fire.
There were more; corpses being left in some caves, the carrion being eating by birds and lizards.
There were a couple of people firing arrows into other people made to stand; chains around their necks attached to nearby trees, so they couldn't run.
"What the fuck is this?" I asked. "Did this really happen?" I looked up and Vav was staring at the images, but there was no disgust at them, like felt, not even any curiosity. She had this look of resignation.
"That's what we did." Vav went through each document, carefully outlining what was happening.
She told me that ever since our family had come to Australia, we had been doing things like this, up until her grandparents and their siblings. They had been the last. She said that we sacrificed, murdered, tortured people. That our land used to be much bigger but she had been selling off portions when she could. That the way we claimed it was wrong.
She said that we were scientists, pioneers in our field. Aboriginal lore dictates that a person can be transformed over time, when exposed to the right things. She said that we were trying to re-create the things from stories. However, we weren't doing that. We were just feeding what was already there, helping them breed. She told me that the reason we all use nicknames is because our real names are family legacy. And nobody around here wants to associate with someone with that legacy.
And then she told me I would never be able to escape it.
"We had friends. Many friends, friends that made everything go away. However, we had to go away as well." Then,
"We used up all our favors, and we were forced into exile." Vav tapped one of the only photographs in there. It was her, as child, smiling as she hugged a dog.
"But in order to fix this, we have to go back in." She placed one of the first images, the man on fire, in my hands.
"This is why I need you. We have to work together." thanks for all the support guys, lim getting hell jittery typing this shit out, so its slowing me down a bit. Hope you're all enjoying it so far.
I made it halfway out of the house when Vav tackled me.
"You fucking idiot." She hissed. "You stupid fucking idiot. I'm not going to kill you, Blue. For fuck's sake."
"I'm not helping you kill anyone else, either!"
"For fucks sake, will you please calm down! That's not what we're going to do!" I stopped struggling.
"Then why the fuck would you show me that stuff?" Vav let go of me and stood up, her hands held out like she was trying to placate me. Like a was a spooked horse.
"l wanted to see how you'd react. And you did well."
"So, so how much of that was true?" Vav laughed, shrugged.
"l don't know. My husband drew those." I slumped down, feeling very fucking heavy.
"Fuck you, Vav. You're a piece of shit." I wheezed. "You're a fucking cunt. I hate you." She grinned.
"Just wanted to make sure you weren't insane, Blue. I was just making sure." After that, every so often Vav would make jokes.
"Hey Blue. If I asked you to kill our neighbours, would you do it?"
"Fuck you."
"What if I said please?" She would laugh wildly and waggle her fingers at me, going back to her crossword puzzles. One night I was making some spaghetti when there was a creak from outside. The geese hissed from near the kitchen door, and hurried away.
"Hello?" I called out. "Jeff?" I opened the door to see if there were spirits, because I was so ready to blast my speakers at them. (After the first couple of times, Vav told me about how the spirits, while craving other people, do not like loud noises. She says she thinks it is why there are less ghosts in highly-populated areas.)
Vav came out of her bedroom, towel-drying her hair. "Something out there?" She asked.
I shrugged, moving back to the stove, stirring the sauce.
"It's real, though." She said, and I jumped. She was leaning against the counter to the left of me.
"Those things we've been seeing. Those are real, Blue." I shrugged.
"I know sometimes I don't make sense, but I think something went wrong up here," she gestured to her head,
"To help me deal with it." "Your mum and me didn't have a good childhood out here. And neither did you. But, those things, Jeff, the spirits. Those are real. Some people like to mystify it and shit, but they're just creatures. They can be hurt."
"Doesn't mean it isn't terrifying." I said.
"l used to be afraid a lot too." She said, smiling.
"Then I got angry because they've ruined my life."
"Are you going to let me see them,so I know I'm not mad?"
"What about Marvin?" she asked.
"Marvin doesn't count."
"Okay." She said. "After dinner, we'll get in the truck, and I'll
show you."
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